and aubrey was her name...

This is my beloved kitty cat, Aubrey. I left 'em back home and I just thought of posting his picture to somehow ease the sadness of missing him soo damn much. He's just so cute, isn't he? My golden cat. He just looks like the Friskies Cat. hahaha...I can totally understand why Egyptians love cats. Unlike how most people perceive cats, he can be so sweet and thoughtful at times too. Those big irresistably charming eyes can be so diffucult to resist but don't let it fool you, he scratches and bites whenever he's grumpy or really hungry. Good thing, it hasn't happened to me yet. Just Josel, only Josel. I think Aubrey just doesn't like Josel all that much.

Funny thing is, I used to think that he was a she. Well, of course until time proved otherwise but to me he will always be pretty pretty aubrey. This picture was taken way back when he/she was still a lil kitten and now she's 2 years old and kinda big, or at least bigger than you can see in this picture.
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...and after a century..

Its been quite a while...a lot of things has happened and here's an update..The day of reckoning wasn't as bad as previously anticipated. It actually went well. My grades were good and it even placed me in the Dean's List. [Hurrah!!] I am now officially on vacation.

Since March I have been dying for a chance to go some place else and so I immediately grabbed the ticket out and now moved geographically nearer the equator but this place is far more cooler [in terms of temperature] than being in the city where I actually live in. Maybe its all the pollution and the lack of greens, by that I mean trees...I have been relaxing, sleeping [for most of the time] taking in the greenery and having fun. Something somniferous about this place that makes me fall asleep so easily. No sunny beaches for me yet but that will come sometime in the near future. Its a real change of perspective here. Its a cultural, rural setting, like what you would see in the simple life but its actually refreshing. Its actually mellow and lots of sunny happy people all around. Its all good. Back in the city, time flies sooo fast that my head spins and I don't know what day it is. It seemed like there are just not enough hours in the day to accomplish everything you want and you have to do. Utimately, I end up staying up in the wee hours just to get things done. But here, its like the time frame stretches. I actually have time to do everything I have to and still have time to relax and still solid 8 hour sleep. I don't know how that is...cause when you think about it, its still 24 hours in a day. I take time to gaze at the sparkling stars that I love so much. It just fascinates me to no end. The moon here is unbelievably big, bright and really yellow. You should really see it. Its just so beautiful. If you are into the nature/night sky kind of thing. When its just me, the vast space of the noght sky and my thoughts, it makes me wonder what is out there. I live for moments like these. Its a retreat from the hurly burly of the city life and I'm loving every day of it. I think, its this kind of thing that keeps me sane and grounded. And for this I am grateful.

Beneath the trees, civilization has somehow caught up and there are internet cafe's like this one where I can access the internet. So I can update you my whereabouts and things that has crossed my mind during this vacation. This should be quite fun. Its not everyday that I get to do this so I better get as much of it as I could possibly can.

I have to go.

Catch you later

the little prince

At long last, the finals [hell] week is finally over!!! I couldn’t be more relieved that this torture has finally come to pass but I couldn’t celebrate just yet. The day of reckoning is still upon us. By that I mean the course card distribution. I think I did well in the exams and I’m pretty sure I didn’t flunk anything it’s just that there’s a saying that goes: don’t count your chickens till they hatch.

To help me avoid counting any chickens, let’s talk about something else. One of the things I love to do is to act in a play. And I’m glad that recently, I had the opportunity to do just that. We did this theatrical adaptation of a well known Exupery classic - The Little Prince. I portrayed the Rose, the little prince’s love interest. The character that I played was this beautiful, sweet, charming but painfully self-absorbed and vain little creature. I used the character Catherine Zeta-Jones played in America’s Sweetheart as a model for my role and since this is theatrical acting, I tried to make it funnier and livelier but that was pretty much how it was. If you read the book, you would know that Rose is not just the name of my character, but basically that is what I was…a rose! [as in long stemmed, plant with thorns and leaves] Thank God my costume didn’t involve petals around my head and leaves on my hand. It’s quite a modern presentation so all I had to do was to don on a red attire and a flower in my hair and that would suffice.

I love to act because it offers me the chance to be something or someone else that otherwise I wouldn’t be or even consider to be or do [in real life] have some kind of fun with it and get away with it. It gives you the freedom to explore the what if’s…what if I was a doctor, what if I was a lawyer, or some clown…sky’s the limit to the endless possibilities to what you can pretend to be without being against the law or something and at the end of the day, you can return to being your old self.

Aside from these and getting to try on the costumes, another thing that makes these kinds of experiences fun and unforgettable are the people you meet along the way. I got to know some people that knew some of my other friends which further proves that the it’s really a small world after all. Here are some pictures we took after the presentation….

i think this started the "flower in hair" fad.
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this is us just having fun after the presentation
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life is short so you better get yours...NOW! while you still can

foreword: isn't it amazing how many topics i can come up to post here when my finals are coming up? i just can't help but procrastinate can i? lets just say i work best under pressure and i dont work unless im pressured...lol!

Hairs on my neck stood on end when [thanks to CNN] I learned this morning that the Pope just died last night at his bedroom in the Vatican around 9:37p.m. I just find it so weird that he died not even a day after I wrote about him in this blog. I was just writing about how short life is only to verify that I really had no inkling how short it is. It was just a few hours off. No doubt, I will be contemplating on my life again as I go to bed tonight.

Basically, I am a Roman Catholic and was raised as one. Although I tend to question some of the practices we have and is leaning more towards the concept of Buddhism these days, I strongly believe in Jesus Christ and his resurrection. That is just that. I must admit that the Pope's death did not come as a shocking news to me anymore but despite that, I didnt expect it to come this soon. I had mixed emotions, part of me was elated for him as he was returning home to God and because he was no longer captive of this painful mortal life but a part of me was a bit sad since he had been a phenomenal Pope and the Catholic community will be orphaned ephemerally.

I remember being when the Pope visited the country a decade ago. I wasnt among the many who were amidst his presence at that time since they were practically countless. I was among the many who watched him at the comfort of my home television set. I was just 10 years old back then and wasnt really concerned about anything but just playing with my friends but when I watched him, I was honestly moved by his mere presence. Even through the TV screen, it felt like I was witnessing a miracle. I couldnt imagine how the people around him felt like. I havent met anyone like him. Its like by just looking at him riding his papal mobile, he emanated holiness and purity. Right then and there, I felt moved, sorry for my sins and wanted to be a better person, like being in the presence of an angel. It may seem cornball now, but it felt so real back then. I could tell I wasnt the only one that was moved because there were absolutely no crimes in the country for the duration that he was here. Now, isnt that something? It was a real unforgettable and unbelievable experience. I dont know if I will ever feel that way again about anyone.

It honestly feels surreal that he is gone back to God, as we all eventually will. His remains were viewed on CNN. Normally, funerals and most especially coffins scare the hell out of me but since he didnt have one, I wasnt that scared. I wasnt scared at all period. And besides, it seems like he didnt change much. It just seemed like he was just sleeping. So here's a tribute to him. Thanks Karol Wojtyla, for everything that you have done for all of us, no matter what religion we are. I can only aspire to be half as great as you were..I will personally never forget you...

So much for sentimentalities, now I really have to go and study. No more procrastinating for me.

Till next time. Im serious this time.

just procrastinating

Trimester system sucks. Everyone else I know are already enjoying their break yet here we are still studying. I should be in a beach somewhere…soaking under the sun, enjoying the waves and having fun! But instead, I’m here in my room daydreaming about it. It’s the weekend before our finals and I just finished writing one of my projects. I still have a lot to do…yet here I am blogging my way through. Okei, I’m officially stalling but I just can’t keep these thoughts out of my head and I feel the need to just throw them out to the void. This will only take a few minutes… here goes…

Don’t you ever wish that sometimes there are just some things that you didn’t know or find out? Not that it’s better to be ignorant but because of the so-called danger of knowing? I have this tendency to think over things too much. There are a lot of things in my mind and none of them are about the subjects that I should be studying about but what the heck. As soon as I share my thoughts the sooner I can move on and study..yeah right! Lol!

First off, despite all the support to keep her alive, Terri Schiavo is dead. An autopsy is said to be conducted to find out what she was thinking as she was dying and if she was indeed thinking and conscious about the world around her before she died. I just don’t see the point in doing that anymore since she is dead, it wouldn’t matter to anyone what she thought or how she felt. It doesn’t matter to me. Her life was the only thing that mattered and now she’s dead so at least give her the right to rest in peace.

Second is about the Pope, the whole Catholic community is praying for his health. But no matter how hard we pray, we all know what is going to happen. He is dying and he knows it that is why he refused medical help to drastically save his life. They say he wanted to die with dignity. I don’t know if its Nostradamus or some other famous psychic that said that after Pope John Paul II dies, the next Pope will be the Pope that will be the an Anti-Christ or something and will be the one to lead us to the end of the world. Its just some faint memory and the psychic could be wrong so don’t breathe so much into it but it still got me a little restless. Although selfishly, I don’t want the Pope to die, I am well aware that at the end, God’s will be done.

In my previous entry, I was just raving about how much I love life, but these two issues really got me thinking about my mortality. All I could think of was… “I’m too young to die!” “I’m not ready yet. I have a lot of things to look forward to.” “I don’t even have kids yet.” “I haven’t done my mission yet.” …and I could come up with a thousand more excuses if the occasion calls for it. Life is uncertain but death is certain. It is an iron clad fact and that is what scares me. I look up to those who are not afraid of death and I can only hope that when my time comes I can be like them. It is natural for people to be scared of things that they do not understand. I admit, I don’t understand it and I’m attached to this earthly existence so sue me. I don’t know of anyone that isn’t scared of death except the suicidal ones. I just feel like there is still so much more to live for and I’m not ready to leave my loved ones behind. Its silly but sometimes I get so scared of thinking about it that I don’t want to fall asleep because I might never wake up again but I end up falling asleep and waking up the next morning anyway.

Another thing that occupies my mind is that how does the transition feel? I mean the middle of the state of being alive and being dead. Is it like sleeping? You just doze off? And after that what happens? Since I’m Catholic, lets say you go to heaven or hell…then whats next? If you go to heaven, they say you will be eternally happy hanging out with God. But what will you do for the duration of eternity? That’s an awful long time. How long is eternity anyway? Sometimes a moment seem a lifetime or a lifetime in a moment. So which one is it? Even the concept of being eternally happy is kind of an iffy to me. If you don’t know pain and suffering, you will not realize what happiness is or maybe you wouldn’t even know it. I think, you find happiness when you have a thing that you know will be miserable without.
And if you go to hell, you will suffer and burn. But its only painful when you’re not used to it the sensation but when you are not used to it, its like nothing just like plucking your eyebrows although hell would be a nth million billion zillion times worse but still the same concept and besides you are already dead, its not like you’re going to die…again?!!
I still have more thoughts on this but for here I’m going to cut it here…

Whew! Glad I got that out of my system. I told you there were a lot of things on my mind…and that’s not even all of it. ha ha ha. But I don’t want to bore you with all the details besides, I still have to study for my finals. Wish me luck. Thanks for the time.

Catch you on the flipside. I meant after the finals, not the otherside... :)