the case of the ex

havent you ever wondered why the shape of a heart doesn't resemble the real human heart? I've been guessing how they came up with that or how it all came about when it looks no where near or even anything close to the heart. or how biologically, the human heart's function is to circulate blood to the rest of the body but when you feel hurt, offended or betrayed you feel like there's this pain in your chest. logically, you can dismiss it like its all in your head since there are no rational explanations for it but you still feel it, the piercing, agonizing pain in your chest is very real because you feel it. or it is just me?

for some reason, I wasnt feeling my best today. And just when you feel so down and vulnerable, fate is bound to play its nasty nasty trick on you, like bumping into your ex-boyfriend. I haven't seen him for quite a while and to make things more interesting, he was with his new girlfriend or so she seemed to be. I felt like such a loser. At that moment, I prayed to God that he would give me the power of invisibility. Im not sure if they saw me or I successfully camouflaged into the crowd but I tried to pretend as if I didnt see them. [such a loser!] Of course, I will have to face them at some time in the future, but not right now...

Seeing my ex was quite an interesting experience. Even before I saw him, I felt his presence and when I looked around, there he was with this new girl. Seeing him in the arms of someone else made me feel jealous, even though I don't have feelings for him anymore. [or so I think anyways] Part of me is happy that he has moved on but also a part of me feels otherwise as I stood there and watched someone take something that used to be mine. Its the primordial law of territories. Its like seeing someone play with your favorite toy that you voluntarily put up for sale. Its exactly not that you don't want them to have it but you dont or at least you dont want to see it. I don't know, its so confusing! Im sure I dont want to get back together with him but why do I feel this way? There is just no logical explanation why my heart feels like its being clenched tight and like someone punched me in the tummy. Sometimes, the heart knows reasons that reason itself can not even comprehend.